so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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