i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize