Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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