he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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