Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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