Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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