covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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