how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
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I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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