you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
