I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
