The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
