I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
