I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
After tacos, we're chasing women.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
