how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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