how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
And then he peed in my hair
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