Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
