Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
