i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize