Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
whose ass print is on the piano?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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