I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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