Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
