Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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