what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We just shotgunned beers for America
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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