hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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