there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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