is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
