Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
