Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
