wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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