That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
