He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...