well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
