You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
