You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
