did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
