C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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