seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
