So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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