After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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