Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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