she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
