I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
