I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
