she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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