Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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