They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
