i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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