nut hugger
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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