i love accidental penises.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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