Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
