I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize