I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
