He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
