There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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