their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
