Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
