Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
