You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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