Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
