I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
