mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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