just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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