I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
