it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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